သဲ့ယူပစ္လိုက္မယ္ | |||||||||||||||||||||
| တစ္ခ်ိန္လံုး ၿပိဳင္ဘက္မ်ား ျဖစ္ၾကတဲ့ ကုန္သည္ႀကီး သံုးေယာက္တို႔ ေဘးခ်င္းကပ္လ်က္ သံုးခန္းတြဲ ဆိုင္ေတြမွာ တစ္ေယာက္ တစ္ခန္းစီ ငွားၿပီး အေရာင္းဆိုင္ႀကီးေတြ တစ္ၿပိဳင္တည္း ဖြင့္လွစ္ေရာင္းခ် ၾကပါတယ္။ လူေတြကလည္း ၿပိဳင္ဘက္ သံုးေယာက္ကို ေစာင့္ၾကည့္ ေနၾကတာေပါ့။ | |||||||||||||||||||||
| ဒီလိုနဲ႔ လက္ယာဘက္ အစြန္ဆိုင္ခန္းရဲ႕ ကုန္သည္က သူ႕ဆိုင္ခန္း ထိပ္မွာ “ဒီမွာ ေစ်းႏႈန္း အထူး သင့္ေလ်ာ္သည္” ဆိုၿပီး ဆိုင္းဘုတ္ တစ္ခု ခ်ိတ္ဆြဲထား လိုက္ပါတယ္။ | |||||||||||||||||||||
| လက္ဝဲအစြန္ဆိုင္ခန္းရဲ႕ ပိုင္ရွင္ကလည္း အားက်မခံ “ဒီမွာ ေစ်းႏႈန္း အျပတ္အသတ္ ပိုခ်ိဳတဲ့ အထူး ေလွ်ာ့ေစ်း” ဆိုၿပီး ဆိုင္းဘုတ္ တင္ထား ျပန္ပါတယ္။ | |||||||||||||||||||||
| အလယ္ဆိုင္ခန္းရဲ႕ ပိုင္ရွင္ ကုန္သည္က ခပ္တည္တည္ပါပဲ။ သူ႕ဆိုင္ခန္း ထိပ္မွာ ေဘးႏွစ္ဖက္က ဆိုင္းဘုတ္ႀကီးေတြထက္ အရြယ္အစား ပိုႀကီးမားတဲ့ ဆိုင္းဘုတ္ႀကီး တစ္ခု တင္ပစ္လိုက္ပါတယ္။ | |||||||||||||||||||||
| သူ႔ဆိုင္းဘုတ္က- “ဒီမွာ ဝင္ေပါက္” |
Showing posts with label ဟာသပေဒသာ. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ဟာသပေဒသာ. Show all posts
Friday, April 11, 2008
ကမ္းကုန္ေရာ
Friday, April 4, 2008
လူေလွ်ာ့မလား မေမးနဲ႔
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Thursday, March 13, 2008
ခ်ာခ်ာလည္စရာ
| (သင္းျမတ္ကို) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| မနက္ေစာေစာပိုင္း တစ္ရက္မွာ လူတစ္ေယာက္က သတင္းစာေကာက္ၾကည့္လိုက္ေတာ့ ‘ျပႆနာ ေျဖရွင္း ေပးႏိုင္သူ အလိုရွိသည္’ ဆိုတဲ့ အလုပ္ ေၾကာ္ျငာ တစ္ခု ေတြ႔တယ္။ လစာက တစ္လ ေဒၚလာတစ္သိန္းလို႔ ဆိုေတာ့ အေတာ္ကို မက္ေလာက္စရာ ျဖစ္တာေပါ့။ | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| အျမန္ေျပးၿပီး အလုပ္ ေလွ်ာက္လိုက္တာနဲ႔ အလုပ္ရွင္က တစ္ခါတည္း အလုပ္ ခန္႔လိုက္တယ္။ ဒါေပမယ့္ သူ႔စိတ္ထဲ မွာေတာ့ မရွင္းမလင္းနဲ႔ပါ။ အလုပ္ရွင္ကလည္း အလုပ္ခန္႔တဲ့ ကိစၥၿပီးတာနဲ႔ သူနဲ႔ စကား ေျပာပါတယ္။ | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| “ကဲ...ခင္ဗ်ား ဘာမ်ား ေမးစရာရွိေသးလဲ” | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| “တစ္ခုပဲ ေမးခ်င္တာပါ ခင္ဗ်ာ။ ကၽြန္ေတာ့္ လစာေငြ ဒီေလာက္မ်ားတာ လူႀကီး မင္းအေနနဲ႔ ဘယ္လို လုပ္ေပးႏိုင္ ပါ့မလဲ ဆိုတာပါပဲ ” | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
“ခင္ဗ်ား ပထမဦးဆံုး ေျဖရွင္းရမယ့္ ျပႆနာက အဲဒါပါပဲ”
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Monday, February 4, 2008
Fairly Quiet
A gentleman is returning home after a lengthy trip, and is met by his servant at the station. This is the conversation that they have on their way to his home:
"So, has anything happened while I've been away?"
"No, sir, I can't think of anything at all worth mentioning."
"Come now, I've been away for weeks. Surely something must have happened in all that time."
"Well, sir, come to think of it, your dog died."
"My *dog* died? How awful! Still, he was getting on in years, and I suppose it had to happen some time. How did he die?"
"The vet said it was probably from eating the rotten meat."
"The rotten meat? Since when do we leave rotten meat lying around for the dog to eat?"
"Well, it was the horses, sir. They'd been rotting for some time after the barn burned down."
"Good heavens. How in the world did the barn burn down?"
"It must have been some embers that blew over from the house, sir."
"The *house*? The house burnt down too? How did the house burn down?"
"Well, sir, we think someone must have knocked over a candle."
"Oh. ... Wait a moment - we don't use candles anymore to light the house! What were the candles doing there?"
"They were there for the wake, sir."
"The wake?!? Whose wake?"
"Your mother's, sir. She passed away quite suddenly."
"Oh my Lord. Mother is dead. The house is gone, along with the stable. Even my dog is dead. What did Mother die of?"
"It must have been the shock, sir."
"The shock."
"Yes, sir, the shock. When your wife ran off with the handyman the day after you left, sir. But aside from all that, it's been fairly quiet while you've been away, sir."
"So, has anything happened while I've been away?"
"No, sir, I can't think of anything at all worth mentioning."
"Come now, I've been away for weeks. Surely something must have happened in all that time."
"Well, sir, come to think of it, your dog died."
"My *dog* died? How awful! Still, he was getting on in years, and I suppose it had to happen some time. How did he die?"
"The vet said it was probably from eating the rotten meat."
"The rotten meat? Since when do we leave rotten meat lying around for the dog to eat?"
"Well, it was the horses, sir. They'd been rotting for some time after the barn burned down."
"Good heavens. How in the world did the barn burn down?"
"It must have been some embers that blew over from the house, sir."
"The *house*? The house burnt down too? How did the house burn down?"
"Well, sir, we think someone must have knocked over a candle."
"Oh. ... Wait a moment - we don't use candles anymore to light the house! What were the candles doing there?"
"They were there for the wake, sir."
"The wake?!? Whose wake?"
"Your mother's, sir. She passed away quite suddenly."
"Oh my Lord. Mother is dead. The house is gone, along with the stable. Even my dog is dead. What did Mother die of?"
"It must have been the shock, sir."
"The shock."
"Yes, sir, the shock. When your wife ran off with the handyman the day after you left, sir. But aside from all that, it's been fairly quiet while you've been away, sir."
Monday, December 24, 2007
Daily Joke (22)
"5 LESSONS FOR EMPLOYEES"
*LESSON 5*
The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was In charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:
Brain......... I should be in charge because I run all body functions.
Blood........ I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.
Stomach... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain.
Legs......... I should be in charge because I take the brain where it Wants to go.
Eyes......... I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going.
Asshole.....I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.
All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad.
To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and Stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.
Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in charge.
**MORAL OF THE STORY: NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE.*
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Daily Joke (21)
"5 LESSONS FOR EMPLOYEES"
*LESSON 4*
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared.
Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle,
He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you A wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of Water to become, then your wish will come true."
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted"WINE".
The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so Happy swimming and drinking from the pool.
Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and Immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so Contented with his beer pool.
The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly He steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........."
**LESSON IV - THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN.**
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Daily Joke (20)
"5 LESSONS FOR EMPLOYEES"
*LESSON 4*
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared.
Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle,
He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you A wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of Water to become, then your wish will come true."
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted"WINE".
The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so Happy swimming and drinking from the pool.
Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and Immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so Contented with his beer pool.
The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly He steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........."
**LESSON IV - THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN.**
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Daily Joke (19)
"5 LESSONS FOR EMPLOYEES"
LESSON 3
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA When the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?"
The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean."
The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"
Again, the Japanese was confused over he question.
The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you ... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc......???"
The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."
A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked What kind Of 'key' was he.
The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee'
am I ?!"
The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"
**LESSON III - NEVER INSULT ANYONE.**
Monday, December 17, 2007
Daily Joke (18)
5 LESSONS FOR EMPLOYEES
*LESSON 2**
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document,and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive.
He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. "I just need one copy."
**LESSON II - NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING.*
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Daily Joke (4)
Improving God
A little girl got on her grandpa's lap and said, "Did God make me?"
"Yes," the grandpa replied.
"Did God make you too?"
"Yes," the grandpa said.
"Well," the little girl said, while running her fingers down his wrinkles and looking at his thinning hair, "He sure is doing a better job nowadays!"
A little girl got on her grandpa's lap and said, "Did God make me?"
"Yes," the grandpa replied.
"Did God make you too?"
"Yes," the grandpa said.
"Well," the little girl said, while running her fingers down his wrinkles and looking at his thinning hair, "He sure is doing a better job nowadays!"
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Daily Joke (3)
Lucky number
Frank believed five was his special number. He was born on May 5, had five children and lived at 555 Fifth Avenue. At the races on his 55th birthday, he was delighted to find a horse named Numero Cinco running in the fifth race from barrier 5. Exactly five minutes before the race, Frank went to betting window No. 5 and put $500 on Numero Cinco. It finished fifth.
Frank believed five was his special number. He was born on May 5, had five children and lived at 555 Fifth Avenue. At the races on his 55th birthday, he was delighted to find a horse named Numero Cinco running in the fifth race from barrier 5. Exactly five minutes before the race, Frank went to betting window No. 5 and put $500 on Numero Cinco. It finished fifth.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Daily Joke (2)
Tie and Water
Separated from his travel group in the Sahara Desert, a tourist begged a passing nomad for water. "Sorry," said the tribesman. "I have no water, but I do have a selection of lovely ties for sale.""You must be crazy," the tourist replied. Close to death from thirst, he saw another nomad. "Water!" he gasped. "Give me some water.""I have no water," came the reply, "only these handsome ties that I'd be glad to sell you."The tourist stumbled on until, to his astonishment, he saw a magnificent hotel far in the distance. Crawling at last into the lobby, he croaked, "Please give me water.""I'm sorry, sir," the doorman said. "We don't let anyone in without a tie."
Separated from his travel group in the Sahara Desert, a tourist begged a passing nomad for water. "Sorry," said the tribesman. "I have no water, but I do have a selection of lovely ties for sale.""You must be crazy," the tourist replied. Close to death from thirst, he saw another nomad. "Water!" he gasped. "Give me some water.""I have no water," came the reply, "only these handsome ties that I'd be glad to sell you."The tourist stumbled on until, to his astonishment, he saw a magnificent hotel far in the distance. Crawling at last into the lobby, he croaked, "Please give me water.""I'm sorry, sir," the doorman said. "We don't let anyone in without a tie."
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Daily Joke (1)
Drunk Driver
A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.
“I can’t do that, officer.”
“ Why not?”
“Because I’m an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.”
“Okay, we’ll just get a urine sample down at the station.”
“Can’t do that either , officer.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup.”
“Alright, we could get a blood sample.”
“Can’t do that either, officer.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die.”
“Fine then, just walk this white line.”
“Can’t do that either, officer.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m drunk.”
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